How Zoidberg Saved Everybody
by Torotyrannus15
Summary: The PE crew is gravely injured by a horrific alien monster, and Zoidberg is the only one who can save them!


**This is a little short fic I randomly came up with. I was staring at a blank screen, and all of a sudden, this came into my head. This'll probably be a oneshot, and I hope you enjoy. **

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Blood. Blood. Blood was everywhere! Blood was all I could see. The monster ran off, but the results of its attack were horrific. The bodies were all laying on the floor, blood leaking out, the life draining from them.

It had all began as a rutine delivery to some mysterious planet that preferred not to mention its name. We had all gone for whatever reason, I just do what the Professer says, and he doesn't strike me. We were scheduled to deliver an unusual-looking orb of the color known as aqua, and were advised not to touch it. For whatever reason why, I could not guess, but Fry and the robet clearly desired to peek at the irregular object, but Leela disiplined them, along with myself, not to do it. However, as usual, Fry and the robet ignored Leela's commands as women normally do me. I knew that they were conspiring to break the rules, so I spied on them, and kept myself hidden this time. They sneakily made their way down to the cargo room, and I masked my natural Decapodean musk so as to avoid being detected. Fry and the robet stared at the large orb, and then Fry reached out his squishy finger and touched it to the sphere for 4 whole seconds. For a moment nothing happened, and the robet was about to kick the orb, when suddenly, the orb burst apart and a towering, pale blue, and tenticled alien monster revealed itself. Fry and the robet screamed like cowardly krill and ran away. The monster roared and climbed into the ventilation shaft, and I followed Fry and the robet. I arrived in the cockpit of the ship behind them, and they frantically told Leela and the Professer what had happened.

"You idiots!" The Professer shouted. All of a sudden, the lights flickered and went out, and we were left in the darkness. Suddenly, the monster's head burst from a vent grate on the ceiling and roared horribly, its gleaming fangs dripping with saliva. Everyone screamed and ran past me through the hallways of the ship, and I was nearly left behind.

"Quickly! Into the panic room!" The Professer yelled.

"That didn't really work last time!" Amy said, referring to our last friendly encounter with a monster in the vents. Everyone halted when Amy said that.

"Amy's right." Leela said. "We can't let the monster pick us off one by one. The only way we'll get out of this alive is if we kill that thing before it gets us." Leela then pressed a button on the wall, and a compartment containing several asorted lazer guns opened from the wall. Everyone took a blaster, and I got a shiny red one. Leela spoke again.

"Okay everyone, we'll split up and hunt down that monster like a buffalo until one of us kills it. Hopefully this one isn't a shape-shifter so we can trust eachother." But then I had a thought.

"Wait, my friends! Suppose the monster IS a shape-shifter? What then? Or what if the monster knows that we are hunting it, and gets the drop on us first?" I said. The others did not believe me.

"Oh, c'mon Zoidberg." Leela scoffed. "What are the chances that the monster actually-" But she was cut off by the sound of ripping metal. The monster had found us! It ripped through the ceiling and savagly attacked my friends. It lashed out at them with its tenticles and razer-sharp claws. Quickly, I dove behind a corner. The noises and screams I heard were too horrible to describe. I turned the corner and saw the monster shaking my bleeding and wounded friends like ragdolls. The monster was about to bite off Hermes's head, but I then leaped into the open and fired my lazer at the monstrocity. I shot it on an orange blotch on its chest, and it screeched in pain and dropped Hermes. The monster ran off, and all of my friends were left bleeding on the ground. They had horrific wounds all over them as well as broken bones, and the robet was a body of torn metal. Quickly, I checked all their pulses. Thank god; they are still alive, but just barely. I then heard a faint wheeze from behind. It was Leela.

"Zoidberg..help.." Was all that she said before she passed out from blood loss. I was horrified. My friends were bleeding to death, and the monster could return at any second. Then I realized.

I was the only one who could save them.

I quickly dragged my injured companions into the medical room of the ship one by one. Once they were all safely inside, I closed the automatic doors and locked them so the monster would not get in. I then set the ship's alarm system, and placed each of the bodies onto the sugery tables. I wrapped up their wounds to slow down the bleeding, and them performed a scan of their bodies. Most of them would be alright if I stitched up their wounds, which I could do, but then I saw that Fry and Leela's heartbeats had suddenly become erratic. I scanned their heart conditions, and I found large traces of toxic chemicals in their bloodstream. The monster was venomous! The only way I could save them was to perform heart sugery, which is extremely difficult. But I had to. It was for my friends. Quickly, I went over to the others and hastily cleaned and stitched up their wounds and put the broken bones in casts that would hold until we got back home. I then turned on the moniter of the ship's security cameras so I could see if the monster was coming. All was clear. I hastily pulled on my best doctor smock and gloves, and prepared for the heart sugery. I won't go into details, but it was pretty nasty. I can't believe that humans only have one heart. My kind have extra hearts in case one gets damaged beyond repair. Carefully, I attached tubes to their hearts and pumped them full of life support fluid, a thing we have in the year 3012, to counteract the venom long enough for me to find an antidote. I hurriedly searched through an assortment of medicinal chemicals that would only work in certain situations, and soon found an anti-venom sample. The label on the flask said, _"Swylox venom antidote"_. I quickly searched, 'Swylox' on my computor, and an image of the monster came up.

"Yes!" I said. I went back to Fry and Leela. Their heart rates were beginning to weaken, and I had to act fast. I took some of the anti-venom in a syringe, and, with a steady claw, slowly stuck the needle into Leela's heart tissue, and squeezed the violet liquid into her bloodstream. I waited for a few moments, and Leela's heartbeat started back up! I was so releived. I removed the tubes from the heart, then sucked up the last of the anti-venom into the syringe. There was only just enough left to save Fry, and I wasted no time in curing him and stitching the two back up. I then fixed the rest of their wounds and casted Leela's broken arm and Fry's broken legs, and breathed a sigh of relief. Just then, the alarm went off. I ran over to the monitor, and saw that the monster was headed right this way! It would rip through the door like mere whale blubber! I had to get my friends out of here, so I thought up a plan. I dragged all the crewmembers, still unconsious, into a closet and locked the door. I then grabbed two large lazer guns and ran out the door, locking it as well. I ran down the halls and soon saw the monster. It then saw me, and screeched and came at me. I rapidly fired lazers at it, slowly driving it back. I fired into one of is red eyes, and it squealed in pain and rage.

"Back! Back I say! Keep your hideus fangs away from my friends!" I yelled as I kept firing. The monster screeched and crawled back into the vents. I wasted no time in going back to grab my friends. I lifted each of them onto my shoulders and carried them into the cockpit and locked all the doors and sealed all the vents with quick-drying Decapodean saliva. I checked the security moniter again, and the monster was in the cargo hold. What was it doing? My question was answered when the creature excreted more than 2 dozen aqua spheres in a burst of pale green slime. _"Eggs."_ I thought. If those eggs hatched, the bloodthirsty spawn would devour us all! I had to get down there and kill them before they hatched. But I couldn't leave my friends should the monster come back. I mulled over this issue for a time, and then I gained an idea. I quickly squirted the crewmembers with liquid from my male musk gland to mask their scent to the creature, and then I swiftly ran out of the room and locked it, and quietly made my way down to the cargo hold.

When I got there, the monster had left, so I was alone to do away with the deadly spawn. I wasted no time in breaking into the eggs and devouring the horrible embryos. I'll admit they were quite delicious, but I needed to get back to my friends as soon as I could. I quickly blasted the remaining eggs with my lazer gun and ran back to the bridge. Thankfully, my friends were still lying unconsious on the floor. But suddenly, one of the monster's tenticles burst through the ceiling and grabbed Amy! I grabbed her leggs as the monster pulled her into the shaft, and yanked harder than I ever have before. I reached with my claw and snipped off the end of the tenticle. The monster shrieked and the tenticle withdrew into the shaft. That was close. I quickly dragged my friends unconsious bodies away from all the vent openings and laid them in a pile in the front of the room. I had to steer the ship back to earth, but I was a surgeon, and didn't know the first thing about steering a rocket ship.

"Think, Zoidberg. Think!" I said to myself. I then realized that if I killed the monster first, I could wait for Leela to awake so she could fly us home. But wait, Leela has a broken arm and several bruised ribs, not to mention that she had lost a lot of blood and her heart was nearly poisoned. She would be in no condition to fly a ship for days. I needed to pilot the ship to earth, but I would hunt down and kill the monster first. I grabbed my laser gun and several more, sharpened my claws, took off my shirt, tied an awesome-looking bandanna to my head, and painted battle marks on my cheeks for cool affect.

"This lobster is going out Swylox hunting!" I said before charging out the door.

I crept through the halls silent as a baby euripteryid, using my superior senses of smell and farggl to sniff out the monster. I turned a corner, and there it was! I leaped into the open and open fired at the beast, screeching out the Decapodean war cry.

"BLLAAAUAAUAAUAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGGGLLLLLLLAAAAAAAHHHHAAHHAHHHAHAAAAAHHHHEHEHEHHEKKKAKAKAKAALLLELLELLEALKAKAAAAAAAHHHH!"

The monster roared as it was stung by lasers all over. It then charged in rage, but I was prepared. As the beast drew close, I raised my arms, and gallons and gallons of slimy, pitch-black ink spurted from my armpits. It covered the monster from head to toe, and it slipped and fell with a thud. I then fired lasers at it more, and used some of my other Decapodean defensive fluids. The monster screamed as it was stung with acid from my acidic defense gland(located on my tucus), and slithered away. I chased after it. I then heard a clang. The monster had broken into the cockpit! I ran to save my friends, and I was just in time. I entered the room to see the monster about to devour my friends, but I wasted no time and charged the creature.

"Get your slimy fangs away from them!" I screamed as I leaped in front of the creature's gaping maw. It roared and I forcefully held its jaws open with my claws and pushed it back. The monster would not give up, but neither would I. I kept forcing its maw open to keep it away from my friends, and I dug my foot claws into the floor to keep me in place. The power struggle kept going.

Leela slowly regained consiousness and dreerily opened her eye. When her head cleared, the first thing she noticed was the pain in her right arm, the one that was broken. The second thing that she saw was Dr. Zoidberg fearlessly holding off the monster as it tried to get to her and the others. She looked at the other crewmembers. They were still knocked out but alive. They were all bandaged up from the wounds the monster had inflicted, and her arm was in a cast, as were Fry's legs. Zoidberg had helped them, and now he was saving their lives.

I looked back for a second and saw Leela awake with a shocked expression. Big mistake. The monster knocked me to the floor and went after Leela.

"AAAHHHH!" She screamed as the best lunged at her. I immediatly ran over and grabbed the monster's tail in my claws and yanked it back. The monster turned and came at me, but I dodged it and did the crab-step as it glared at me. It was a standoff. The monster and I circled one another for several minutes, and then it lunged again. I leaped over its head and landed on its back. I then grabbed its flying tenticles and drove the monster into the wall. It bellowed in anger, and tried to snatch me in its jaws, but I jumped off its back and landed on the floor.

By this time, the other crewmembers began to awaken on the far side of the room. They were all shocked when they saw what I was doing.

"Oh my god! What's Zoidberg doing?!" Amy gasped.

I turned to them and said,

"Stay back, my friends! Zoidberg will protect you!" I screeched and charged at the monster again. I had finally figured out how to defeat it; the orange blotch on its chest was its one weak spot! I screamed the Decapodean war cry again as I leaped at the monster's chest. Its jaws just missed me as I flew right at the orange spot and savagely ripped into it with my claws. The monster squealed in agony as it fell on its back and writhed in pain. I sliced and ripped out its entrails with such savagry that the Robet Devil himself would cringe at the sight. As I tore out the monster's green heart and ate it, the monster let out a last wretching scream of anguish before it went limp on the floor, dead. I emerged from the carcass covered in orange blood.

"Satanic beast, I hast slayeth the." I said.

I walked over to my friends, who were wide-mouthed in shock of what I had done to save them.

"Don't worry my friends," I said to them. "The monster is dead."

"Zoidberg, that was amazing!" Fry exclaimed.

"I've never seen you act so brave!" Leela complimented.

"Indeed. That was the biggest act of courage I have ever seen, ever!" Said the Professer. I was just glad that all my friends were safe from that monstrocity.

"You definatly deserve a reward for saving our lives, Zoidberg." Hermes said as he stood next to me. I got excited at that part.

"Rewards, you say?" I asked. "Perhaps a raise in pay is in order?"

"I don't pay you to begin with." The Professer said. "But, since you saved our lives and all, I suppose a raise is in order."

"Hooray!" I said. "Now I will be able to refurnish my dumbster!" The robet, nopw repaired, then came over.

"And tell you what Zoidbeg," He said. "From now on, my beer and cigars are your beer and cigars."

"And I'll gladly accept your pestering friend requests on Flitter." Amy said. I smiled a big smile. Thing were finally going my way, and all it took was defending my friends from a horrific alien monster.

"Come on, everyone." I said. "Let's all go home shall we?" The others cheered as I took the wheel and directed our course for Earth.

**"And that is how I, Zoidberg, saved everyone."**

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**The End. Like it? Of course you do. **


End file.
